I've heard people say that you'll know when you're done having babies. And although everything in my earthly mind tells me that we should be, I don't know that we are done.
Since our babies are now 2 and 4, I'm beginning to feel more like a human again. We finally sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. We don't have to feed children every 3 hours. Our kids still don't sleep great, but they sleep good enough. And they're becoming easier to travel with, and since we love to travel, this makes everyone happy.
At this point, not having more kids would be the easiest thing to do, but I think there is something in my soul that won't be satisfied. The selfish part of me wants to be done, and there are many people who would say that we easily could be. We have our boy and our girl, and things are great.
But you realize very quickly as a parent that if you want to actually function as one, selfishness doesn't really have a part in your life anymore. Your thoughts and desires become centered around someone else. You end up doing a lot of things you don't want to do for the sake of your children.
I have said many, many times, "how do people have more than 2 kids?" I really wonder that. I know there are many of you out there, and I admire you greatly for it. As I write this, my 4 year old is climbing in bed with us....just another reason we probably shouldn't have another kid.
Yet I know that children are a challenge, a blessing, and growth process for us as parents. They make us better in every way, even though many days it seems like they make us crazier! I guess you could say that having another baby is one of my fears. (Interruption #2 during this post involved me going upstairs to snuggle Luke for a minute.) I mean really! There is no good reason that I should even think another kid is a great idea at this point, but I can't deny those heart strings gently being pulled.
The sacrifices we make for our children are so small when you compare them to the blessings that they pour into our lives. So no matter how fearful the devil attempts to make me, I'll live on the promises of my God instead and know that His stirrings could never steer me wrong.
(disclaimer: Just because I'm admitting the fact that I'm not done, does not mean that I'm anywhere near ready....just wanted to make sure we all understood that. ;) )