Well, our week of waiting to see if and when we'd get a baby that we had our hopes set on is over. (If you're lost, read the past few posts to catch up.)
This afternoon I found out that the sweet baby boy I had my heart set on went to another placement. I'm a little heartbroken, but also okay.
I'm frustrated and annoyed with the system, but I'm also a little glad that this whole situation took place.
In all reality, we were not ready for a baby.
But thanks to a very good friend who showed up at my house at 10:00 this morning, demanding that I put her to work, we knocked a lot off the list today.
I started with my closet. Since our trip to Salt Lake City, my winter clothes have been in a pile on the floor of my closet. They are now in their proper place hanging neatly in the closet and the tank tops and swimsuits have retired to Tupperwares on the top shelves.
My friend, Tamara, started in my garage where my internet shopping has left a serious mark. There were mounds of boxes and packing materials that were beginning to look like their own mountain. She broke down each box and bundled up all the stuffing and swept it off to a dumpster. What a blessing she is!
She then put together my entire Snow Village. She's awesome. Did I mention that yet?
Then we headed upstairs to make our guest bedroom into a baby room. That meant we had to tape and paint. I started taping and she headed into the playroom to start rearranging.
Our playroom is going from a playroom to a playroom/guest room. My mom comes to stay almost every weekend, and we don't know what we'd do without her, but I wanted her to still have a place where she could be comfortable. I wanted her to feel like she had her own space and not like she was sleeping amidst Barbie and Buzz Lightyear.
I think the arrangement Tamara came up with is perfect. I don't think I would have thought to arrange things the way she did. (I'll post pictures tomorrow and you can see what you think for yourself.)
Tamara vacuumed, she organized, she cleaned, she re-arranged, she painted. And then she wanted to do more!
In the midst of all this, we got the word that the baby we were preparing for wasn't coming after all. It was a letdown, it was heartbreaking, and disappointing, but it was also eye opening.
I started to see that so much of this was probably just a way to get us ready both emotionally and physically for another child coming into our home.
I ran all the scenarios through my head. I wanted that baby. I broke down and ended up on my knees before the Lord, where I haven't been in a long time, and I started to see that this would be a journey that would bring us closer and closer to the One who called us to do it.
After today, we are much closer to being ready.
The baby's room is painted and waiting for furniture.
The playroom/guest room is clean and ready for guests. Addy actually squealed today when she got home from school and saw it. And now she and my mom are up there asleep.
My closet is ready for winter. And mom and I even checked a few more things off the Christmas shopping list tonight with a late night trip to Kohl's.
I have a few more projects up my sleeve. I plan on completely reorganizing my kitchen cabinets. (I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but when we moved into this house 2 1/2 years ago, Luke was four weeks old. There was not much thought put into the way things were unpacked. They were just unpacked. And now I want everything to work right and be in the right place.) What better time than now right?!
With plenty of projects to tackle tomorrow, I better quit rambling and hit the sack. Tamara was mad that she didn't get to clean out our garage. We sent her home (at 5:30) before she could start! The garage is definitely on the list for tomorrow.
What a blessing she is! I never would have been able to get everything done today without her. I am so-so-so grateful for a great friend and a wonderful husband who rallied around my list of to dos today.
Now we just wait for our fingerprints to come back. Just a little more waiting.
.....day 112 of a year of writing.