I've been without sugar or caffeine or bread for four days now, but it feels like four weeks at this point.
Our church is participating in a corporate fast for twenty-one days in January. The fast we are doing together is called Daniel's Fast. This fast is based on the following scripture from Daniel 10:2-3:
In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.When you participate in a corporate Daniel's Fast or you feel the Lord is calling you to fast over something in your life, you don't do it to impress God. He loves us unconditionally no matter what.
You do it to draw closer to Him.
By realizing that there is no power in food, you begin to understand more and more that He really is all you need.
My fast this year began with a trip to the grocery store. Fruits, veggies, whole grains.....that's about it folks. I took a few pictures to show you what it looks like.
So last year, Brian and I decided we were going to fast in December from the December 1 - 21, because we knew we were going on a cruise in January.
This year, we knew we were going to Mexico in January as well, but we decided we wanted to do it anyway. After the past four days, I wish I could tell you that I am closer to the Lord than I ever have been, but that would be a stretch.
I have spent the past four days trying to survive my never ending "I need caffeine" headaches. There have been numerous times that I have thought to myself that I should just quit and start again when we get back from our trip.
But on the upside, I have been in God's Word everyday since the fast began, and I feel good knowing that I'm giving Him the first of my year. He deserves that and so much more.
And I know that He loves me whether I do this or not. He loves us no matter what we do (or have done) amazingly!
Today I have questioned all of it.....why am I really doing this? Because everyone else on staff at church is? Because I really want to? Because I feel like I have something to prove?
But I know that I am doing it for one reason and one reason alone....to seek Him first.
I don't know what this year holds for our family.
I have no doubt that it will not be anything I expected. It never is.
But I know that no matter what comes, I want to be so in love and so close to my God that I have no doubt where I'm going to turn come hell or high water.
I want to be sold out, convicted, consumed, overcome, and full out in love with Him.
I want His word and His grace to spill out of my mouth. I want nothing more than that.
You know what I wanted to do yesterday after a day spent at the ER? I was waiting on Brian's prescriptions and thought that it would be so easy to swing over to Cupcakes to Go and pick myself up a treat for the day, and that that would make everything better.
You know what else? All that time we sat in the waiting room, I hardly prayed. I was too worried about everything else that was going on around me. Who was sitting too close? How long have we been waiting?
And I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's the truth.
And when the day was over, did I turn to Him? No I wanted something sweet to make me happy for a moment.
And while I pondered the temptation of whether or not I should eat a harmless cupcake, I heard Him remind me, "All you need is Me."
And boy was I humbled in that moment. So humbled that I wanted to hit my knees and ask for forgiveness.
Of course. What an idiot I am.
I know that all I need is Him, and yet I'm waiting on some ER doctor to heal my husband. I'm relying on a meaningless bit of food to attempt to make me feel better when in reality all I really needed in both situations was Him.
All you need is Me.
Why do we forget that we have full access to Him whenever and wherever we are? It doesn't matter when I last spoke to Him or what I had to say.
He wants us day after day, mistake after mistake. His love is unconditional. He desires us.
And we should likewise return the favor. But He too easily slips to the back of our minds.
Today I am encouraged to press on with this fast. There are very specific things I'm fasting for (this blog being one of them). There are things that I'm waiting for His Word on. I'm seeking His direction in certain things through this fast. You can prayerfully ask Him what it is you should fast for, and He will reveal that to you.
I know that the end result of all of it will only draw me closer to Him. By the way, He can't get any closer to you. He's here, by your side, day after day, whether you ask Him to be or not. My prayer is that He does a work in me. Not only over the next few weeks, but throughout this year.
Do a work in me, O Lord, that people won't be able to deny. I only hope that He would allow me to continue to do good works for His name and His glory. Nothing else really matters.
Do a work in me, O Lord, because all I need is You.
For more information on Daniel's Fast, go to http://www.daniel-fast.com/
.....day 147 of a year of writing.....