In case you're just joining us, we have a few babies around here. If you've been around for a while, you're probably sick of hearing about the babies and all the fun things they do (like throw up) ha! But tough! Here's a little more baby blunder for the day.
If you're new to the blog, you may be interested to know that Brian and I began the process to become foster parents many, many months ago (I really wanted to type many, many moons ago, but I restrained myself). Two Fridays ago we officially became foster parents to not one, but two babies!
Life with four children ages four and under is interesting to say the least. There has been a lot of adjusting around the Dalke house for sure, but we're starting to get the hang of it, and Brian and I are learning not to take ourselves too seriously.
But, tonight was one of those nights when I was doubting whether or not I had the patience to handle this....if I could really manage four kiddos.
My temper was short, and I knew the devil was trying to do a work in me. They were all equally driving me a little bit crazy, one at a time. And the lies started to seep in......lies like, you aren't patient enough to do this....you aren't loving enough to do this....you don't have any more to give to these babies....they deserve better than you.....and on and on. I think you get the idea. Oh, and on top of all this, Brian was at church tonight, so I was feeding, bathing, and diapering all of them on my own.
There came a point in the evening when I knew I needed to start over. Clean slate. Grace fall over me. And, I walked outside to throw away a diaper and prayed a simple prayer for Him to cover me and fill me, and for me to hear from Him tonight. It was just one of those nights that I needed proof that He is real and that this is His will (again).
As I snuggled into bed with Addison and Luke to read our bedtime stories, I found myself grinning from ear to ear at Addison's book selection this evening aptly titled Olivia and the Babies.
Basically,it's a cute story of a pig who decides that she wants to be a momma. Once she has one baby, she decides that two babies must be even more fun than one! I'm chuckling right now thinking about it.
"One baby is so much fun," Olivia thought. "I wonder what it would be like to have two babies."
Needless to say, Olivia finds out that two babies is a lor more work than one baby. But when her mom asks her to watch her little brother for a few minutes, she discovers that three babies is even more work than two. Imagine that! It is then she decides that she needs something to keep them all
entertained and she opts for roller skates. :) Precious.
But, in the end, while being tucked in that night by her momma, Olivia concludes that being a mommy is too much work for a little girl.
I know that the whole thing is a silly little children's book, but while I was reading it to my babies, it was like my Father was whispering to me, "I know it's hard work, and I know you're tired, but this is exactly what I've asked you to do."
It was all the affirmation I needed. Yes, I found affirmation in a children's book. Absolutely.
But, it hasn't just been there. It's seeping out of our friends and famly in scriptures, in meals brought by, in encouraging words. I know that a few of my close friends thnk we're absolutely nuts for taking in someone else's babies. But, ya know, when people think you're norman and not crazy, maybe you're not living big enough. Just a thought.
As I think over the day and all the ups and downs (there were definite ups, too!), one of my favorite things was a message from a friend with this picture from the book Jesus Calling:
She said that the last line made her think of me, and oh, how it brought a smile to my face this morning! I don't doubt w're living in His will. There's no doubt about it for me. But, it is scary. I feel ill equipped most days to do this, yet there is an unexpected calm around us.....almost like we're in a secluded bay while the ocean ravages just outside the safety of the shores.
Calm on the inside....it's what I always wanted. (Not pain free but calm.)
....day 187 of a year of writing.....