I don't recommend watching Soul Surfer when you're pregnant. Just in case you are pregnant or plan on getting pregnant anytime soon. Don't watch Soul Surfer. You'll cry through the entire movie.
I'm telling you I cried even during the parts that aren't tear worthy. Like when she ripped the arm off her Barbie doll. I cried. Probably not tear worthy, but with pregnancy hormones, I guess just about anything is tear worthy.
Just moments later I was laughing, because it reminded me of my niece the other day. Brian walked into the room, and said, "Hey Kate, are you playing Mr. Potato Head?" To which she responded very seriously, "It's Soul Surfer" and ripped off Mr. Potato Head's arm and threw it across the room. That's awesome.
And now, as we speak, my husband has decided to move to the beach....someplace where there are no state income taxes and "our kids will be ripped because they'll surf all the time." (Those are his words, not mine.) Mom, don't worry. It'll be a short lived dream. He did say that he would make sure we moved close to an international airport so flights would be cheap. : )
I'm really just telling you all of this to stall, so I don't have to turn my brain on to think of everything swirling around inside it.
It's Tuesday, which means it's family therapy day for Wade and Bailey. Today they only got an hour with Mommy and Daddy since the normal therapist had a death in the family. We were squeezed into an hour time slot with their previous therapist.
Overall, the day went well. The babies were really excited to see their momma which makes everything better. We talked about momma all the way to therapy, and Bailey was thrilled by the time we got there.
She spotted her mom as she was walking into the building and her face lit up. It's a good thing to see. And Wade didn't resist going to either his mom or dad. They were both all smiles. Mom brought them each a new outfit, and when I mentioned going to lunch with them, her eyes lit up. "I'd love that," she replied. And she meant it.
I can see her desire for them, and that makes me happier than anything. But it's still hard. All of it's hard. The rest of the afternoon after we leave counseling is always hard. I know they miss them. It's their mom and dad. Of course they miss them.
So, we're taking it day by day still.
Brian and I both agree that the way we feel about them is just different than the way we feel about our kids. I don't know if it was how they came to us. We knew that this would be temporary when they came. Or, if it's just because it's different.
All in all I know that if nothing else, these babies have a good, safe, and loving home right now, and we are being changed daily by this experience. We're learning to love more, grow more, find time for more. And while we're on this journey, we'll keep changing by the grace of our Lord. We serve a good God who is leading us to great places. Even if the road is not always smooth, we're along for the ride.
.....day 221 of a year of writing.....