Do you ever wonder how much longer it's going to take to get where you're going?
Traveling with a five year old, even to the grocery store, means hearing things like, "Are we there yet?" and "Are we almost there?" and of course, "How much longer?"
And since she has no sense of time, the "How much longer" question is a tough one to answer. Her concept of time and my concept of time are worlds apart.
The other day she told me it was was going to be eighteen hours before we could eat again. See what I'm saying?
"Really, Lord, how much longer do you want me to be here?"
"When are we going to get where you actually want me to go?"
"Are we close?"
These are questions that run through my head constantly, and it's not because I'm not happy where I am. I am beyond happy, peace-filled, blessed, and so much more right where I am. But after walking with Him and seeking Him, I know without a doubt that He has called me to do other things.
But just not yet.
There are more things I need to learn, more things I have to experience, and more life I have to live through.
But, sometimes I just want to shout from the backseat, "Are we there yet?!"
I have to remind myself often that God's timing and my timing are not at all in the same frame of reference, much like my daughter's timeline and mine are very different. But I trust Him, just like she trusts me. Even though I can't always explain to her exactly how much longer it's going to be, she believes me when I say, "We're on our way, and we're almost there." Ironically enough, I say that we're "almost there" when we're twenty minutes away or when we're five minutes away.
I was just mulling all this through my mind tonight as I was working through my James Bible study. James 3 talks of teachers. I know without a doubt that God has called me to teach His Word. No doubt about it, but I feel like it's about a million years away. I don't know what that will look like. I don't know if He wants me to write or speak or just teach women in my home, but He has clearly stated it. Since He has clearly placed that vision in my mind, I've been wrapped up in His word, knowing that I'll never know enough but doing my best to learn all that I can.
And in the meantime, He has clearly called us to all these other things: foster care, another pregnancy, and a possible move. Sometimes I just want to voice my opinion from the back seat..."I just wish we would get where we're going!"
I know what He would say to that, though. He would turn from the driver's seat to catch my eye and say ever so gently with a smile, "We're on our way, and we're almost there."
He has much yet to teach me. Like Miss Beth pointed out in my homework today, Exodus 4:12 doesn't say, "I will tell you what to say." It says, "I will teach you what to say."
I guess life is the world's best classroom. And I don't have to know where I'm going. I just have to know who I'm with.
.....day 219 of a year of writing.....