This will be our second time being foster parents. But we aren't ready. It's not something you can really ever be ready for.
There are too many unknowns and variables to truly be ready to welcome a child into your home. There is no "what to expect guide" or "how to be a great foster parent book." None of that. It's mostly about trusting the Lord in what he's called you into, knowing that he has someone prepared for you.
Brian and I sat across the dining room table from our case worker today as she updated our previous home study. She seems smart and compassionate, and I'm excited to have her on our team.
I attempted to line out the perfect placement for us. They want you to provide a 2 year age bracket, so we said we would be willing to accept children 0-2 years of age. But I lined out why anything other than an infant wouldn't work.
We don't want to have to put a child in childcare, but we still have to be able to work from home. Wyatt is almost 2 and into everything and I can't spend my days chasing two toddlers around the house.
We would prefer an infant. A non-mobile one. One that I can wear and take with me to coffee and work into our lives.
Those are my perfect little outlines of how I would like all this to play out. In reality? Our 1st call will probably be for two-year-old twin girls. Who knows?
I know that me attempting to plan all this out in my mind is simply a coping mechanism....a way to deal with the chaos that comes in foster care.
It's not that being a foster parent means there will always be chaos. It's just that you you have no control over so many things. You have to learn to let go of control.
That was the hardest part for me the 1st time. Losing control over situations that I desperately wanted to control was nearly maddening for me.
Our "criteria" for the perfect placement is my attempt at one last swing for control. Ultimately, I know the Lord has already planned out something great. There is a child (or children) that He has in mind for us. To love, to serve, to give everything to. And we will.
Now we wait for DHS to approve our home study, and our home will officially be "open" mid-September.
Here we go. It's time to be brave.